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Joke of the Day

"put the punch line in the title how do you piss off reddit?"

"Distraught after losing a full carton of milk, I tattooed its photo on my kid's face, in hope someone recognizes and returns it."

"If I was a cannibal I'd only eat women. Because they're seedless."

"Shockingly True What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair."

"What do you call a mod in r/News ? [Removed]"

"Got an e-mail today from a ""bored housewife 34, looking for some action!"", so I sent her my ironing, that'll keep her busy."

"I just tried to woo Stephen Hawking. But I don't think I pushed the right buttons."

"Hey, incessant seatbelt indicator beeping, I'll outlast you; just like your friend the gas light. You're not the boss of me."

"Met a hot isis girl Jihad me at hello"

"Why does the Hound of the Baskervilles turn round and round before he lies down for the night? Because he's the watchdog and he has to wind himself up."