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Joke of the Day
"Why is Iron Man Italian? Because to get him you have to rig-a-tony.."
Next Joke
"Girls: I'd invite you in but my place is a mess Guys: I don't mind Girls: Like a huge mess Guys: ok Girls: Like dead bodies on fire Guys: ok"
"I've done a few things I've been ashamed of, but at least I never played FarmVille."
"Finished my 2nd glass of wine. Husband doesn't know it yet but he has a 30 second window of getting laid before I pass ou"
"Every timeI see a mattress tied to the top of a car, I think....there's another prostitute making a house call......"
"Why did the python return his pants? They were too constricting."
"How do you convince America to join a war? Tell them its almost over"
"In regards to Caitlyn Jenner's car accident I guess you could call it vehicular translaughter."
"First woman on Moon: -Huston, we have a problem? What? -Never mind What's the problem? -Nothing Please tell us? -You know what's the problem"
"If I got $1 every time somebody called me sexist I would walk free of a rape case"