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Joke of the Day

"First woman on Moon: -Huston, we have a problem? What? -Never mind What's the problem? -Nothing Please tell us? -You know what's the problem"

"If Jesus really loved me he would have died and resurrected himself a few more times to give me some extra public holidays."

"a single strawberry can make a hundred more strawberries, i swear nature is just another word for magic, a way to turn sunlight into sugar"

"What do you call a teenage cheese cracker? Chee-zits I made this up. *bows* Thank you, thank you...thank you so much."

"How do Jews celebrate Christmas? By dancing around the cash register singing ""What a Friend We Have in Jesus"""

"What did the farmer tell the hoe? Let's get dirty."

"Mommy, I wrote some notes down in my diarrhea. Please let her mean diary. Please let her mean diary. Please let her mean diary."

"If only Africa had more mosquito nets... ...then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids. - Jimmy Carr"

"Walk in closets Walk-In Closet Why do chinesse make such terrible Estate agents? Because non of the customers are ever comfortable with the idea of buying a house with a Hawk in the closet."

"I got a case of beer for my wife! It was a good trade!"