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Joke of the Day

"""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""santa"" ""santa who?"" ""santander... We're repossessing your house because you haven't paid the mortgage""."

"How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?"

"Remember when we were young enough to order mozzarella sticks and not think, ""maybe deep fried cheese isn't the best life decision?"""

"Bernie Sanders fans say ""Feel the Bern."" Gary Johnson fans say Feel the Johnson."

"[wife frustrated] ""at least I didn't hook up the toilet wrong and tell everyone it's a bidet"""

"Made a reverse chain letter that said 'delete this email or you get bad luck!' and then deleted it without sending. Then I called it a day."

"Trump is banning the importing of shredded cheese. He wants to make America grate again."

"The U.K. has no money Sorry for poor English"

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? The Spanish Inquisition."

"How does a French person sneeze? Adieu!"