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Joke of the Day

"Remember when we were young enough to order mozzarella sticks and not think, ""maybe deep fried cheese isn't the best life decision?"""

Next Joke
 
"Her: We had the baby! She is 7lbs 3oz, born at 9:08am. We'll be naming her tomorrow. Me: Tomorrow is a terrible name for a baby, tbh."
"What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? [well ..](/s""The pizza doesn't scream when it's in the oven"")"
"What is a paranoid man's favorite food? Who wants to know?"
"A banana walk in to a doctors office... A banana walks in to a doctors office and says to the doctor ""I'm not peeling very well!"" ;-; Sorry..."
"GROCER: slide your card ME: it didn't work GROCER: does it have a chip? ME: *puts hand over pringle in my pocket I was saving for later* no"
"Today we celebrate the birthday of a man who changed the way we see and understand the magic of the universe. Happy Birthday Isaac Newton."
"A Buddhist goes up to a hot dog stand And says ""Make me one with everything."""
"Just read a really great tweet that was 140,000 characters long called a book."
"Have you heard the one about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering whether or not there really is a dog."