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Joke of the Day

"If there's ever a zombie apocalypse, I really hope it starts in Vegas Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

"Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks."

"ITT: Your best (or worst) puns. See all those crows flying over that woman with that loaf of bread? She's going to get murdered."

"What was the last thing that went through Osama Bin Ladens head before he died? I hope they're all female..."

"What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke."

"Damn, girl! Are you Iocane Powder? Because I've spent the last few years of my life building up an immunity to Iocane Powder. So, yeah..."

"Abs are for people who can't afford good food."

"what's a pirate's favourite letter? you may think it's R, but his true love be the C!"

"What's an ""innuendo"" ? An Italian suppository"

"Sheet manufacturers totally have us by the balls. What are we, not gonna buy sheets?"