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Joke of the Day

"What do an elephant and a Porsche 911 have in common? They both have their trunks in the front."

"Therapist: U need some tools to cope with ur anger Me: Like a sledgehammer? T: No. More like breathing- M: Fire? Can u make me breathe fire?"

"H: I don't understand what goes on in your head. Me: If you prefer, I can quit twitter and just tell you all of this. H: No, we're good."

"I'm circumcised but I'm looking to change that. Anyone have any tips?"

"Imagine a guy named Kyle walking into Starbucks. You're a racist."

"The internet connection on my phone seems to be at its fastest when I've clicked the wrong link."

"I have a friend who is a pilot on a 747. I said ""Hi Jack."" He shot me."

"Money can buy happiness. Give me 100 million dollars and I'll prove it to you."

"How many dead memes does it take to change a light bulb? Over 9000."

"What's brown and hides in the attic? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank"