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Joke of the Day

"If all else fails, pretend you don't speak English."

"what does the Jewish pedophile say to an elementary school kid? Hey kid, want to buy some candy?"

"I gauge a person's wealth by the level of protection on their iPhone. No case, huge salary."

"Thumb war is never the thumb answer."

"Why are the cops shooting so many black men? There's plenty of Mexicans to shoot too. Yeah I'm going to hell for that one."

"What did the Muslim Zoophiliac say when he found out his friend was a beekeeper? ""Dicks out for Haram Bee"""

"I walked into a store today... ...and they were selling explosives disguised as prayer mats. I wasn't one to judge them; after all, they'd said prophets were going through the roof."

"I walked up to a guy in the gym. I said, ""How do you use this piece of equipment?"" ""It's pretty simple,"" he replied, ""Just push the button and it dries your hands..."""

"What does a catholic priest and a silver medalist have in common.....They both came in a little behind"

"How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears? A buccaneer!"