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Joke of the Day

"Rape Some say rape isn't funny. Anything can be funny in the right context. Picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd. - George Carlin"

"Vegans have a special acronym for 'Today I Fucked Up' TOFU"

"What do you call a bad Cubs game? Unbearable"

"I shouldn't. Ambien: YES. You should. But I'm naked. A: EXACTLY. Ok, fine. *stands up* I HAVE A REASON THESE TWO SHOULD NOT BE WED!"

"The monster spent a fortune on deodorants before he found out that people didn't like him anyway."

"What gets really high in Colorado? The average elevation."

"people are like ""pokemon is basically dogfighting"" but tbh if a dog with ice powers fought a ghost dog I would probably peek over that fence"

"My dog chases people on a bike a lot. If this continues i'll have to take his bike away."

"Did you know that if you laid the entirety of my intestines out in a straight line you'd likely be incarcerated for many years?"

"Sometimes I really want to throw paper at people. Brick shaped Paper. Made of brick."