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Joke of the Day
"Have you heard the one about the constipated mathematician? ... he worked it out with a pencil."
Next Joke
"Ramen again? This guy's a mess. -mice in my kitchen"
"birthday card As i handed my mom her 50th birthday card today she said "" One would've done"""
"How do Asian's name their children? Throw a frying pan down the stairs and listen to the sounds. *Ting tong tow*"
"God: okay I need to create something to fill the dark empty void in the meaningless lives of unmotivated people [creates Twitter]"
"I'm going to run a 5K to Finland. When you enter the country it will be the Finnish line."
"What's the similarity between your wife and a tin roof in a hurricane? If you didn't nail them properly they'll go see your neighbor"
"What's hairy and has five fingers? A thalidomide's armpit"
"My next door Neighbour's Daughter said that when she gets older she wants to marry me. I was touched. A few minutes later, so was she."
"Name a household appliance that you everyday... my wife...but shes gone and i need to do the dishes myself now"