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Joke of the Day

"What was the executioner's favorite shampoo? Head and shoulders."

"""Describe 2016 in 4 words"" ""That's a tomorrow problem"""

"What do Limas Sweed and Bruce Jenner have in common? Neither can keep track of their balls"

"My mom caught me smoking weed. She punished me by sending me to my room without any supper."

"Have you guys heard of the movie constipation? No, that's because it hasn't come out yet."

"The letter E is used frequently and infrequently."

"When I was at the beach there was a guy in the ocean yelling, ""Shark! Help!"" And I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn't going to help him."

"Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet? Because they can't stop saving their work."

"Happy 30th birthday Super Mario Bros. To celebrate, I'm going to eat mushrooms, punch a brick wall & set a turtle on fire."

"Imagine being so rich you could afford the other monocle."