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Joke of the Day

"It's a shame Laremy Tunsil fell in the draft... But he was still the highest pick!"

"Look, all I'm saying is that the dinosaurs didn't drink alcohol and look what happened to them."

"Where do you send hyperactive jewish children for summer vacation? Concentration camp."

"""she's too good for him"" ""he doesn't deserve her"" ""she should be with me"" ""I need a good girl like that"" --me looking at other people's dogs"

"Teacher: Alright! Is everyone ready for the geography quiz? Student: There's a quiz today?!? I'm not ready! Teacher: Well, how much of the textbook have you read? Student: Nunavut!"

"Did you hear about the baby that was born with three knees? He was born with a left knee, a right knee, and a little wee-knee"

"Where does a redditor get most of his news from? The Hydraulic Press"

"Face tattoos are a great way to let people know that you don't owe on any student loans."

"[Olive Garden] Me: *walks in* Hostess: *hands me shovel* Bury the bodies in the back. Me: Huh? Hostess: When you're here you're family."

"What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association"