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Joke of the Day

"""she's too good for him"" ""he doesn't deserve her"" ""she should be with me"" ""I need a good girl like that"" --me looking at other people's dogs"

"FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything."

"12 Polacks were about to rape a German girl. She started yelling ""Nein, nein, nein!"" so 3 of them left."

"I like the NSA They're the only government agency that listens"

"When are minorities not minorities? When you look at crime statistics."

"Dog in a Bar A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ""I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."""

"If someone doesn't respond to your text within 5 minutes, they obviously don't love you anymore. Probably never did, react accordingly."

"Just texted her ""thanks for choking on me"" I meant ""checking"" but kinda curious what the response is gonna be."

"What do you call a bunch of black kids playing in leaves? Raisin bran"

"I'd like a little pussy... This guy says to a girl he'd been chatting up ""I'd like a little pussy!"" She replied, ""me too...mine's as big as a house!"""