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Joke of the Day

"PE Teacher: Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer? Pupil: You told me to put it in the Net."

"two guys talking.... Guy one: I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally peed in her. Now she won't talk to me. Guy two: Sounds like urine trouble."

"Got so drunk last night that I was able to translate three Pearl Jam albums into English"

"""If ya wanna go and take a ride with me / wear your seatbelt"" - Nervous Nelly"

"So I ask my local librarian... If she had books on Pavlovs dog and Schrodingers cat. She said they rang a bell but dont know if they are there or not."

"My brother has muscular dystrophy and we got into an argument about religion I told him his argument is just as valid as his legs.... Weak."

"What's the difference between my wife and my paycheck? My paycheck comes once a week."

"Beer has female hormones Whenever I am drinking I talk too much and can't drive a car."

"Never hide regular cocaine in your butt Charges will get elevated to possession of crack cocaine"

"How to get laid: HAHAHA you guys thought I get laid for a second there."