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Joke of the Day
"My mate Sid was a victim of I.D theft. He's just called S now."
Next Joke
"why should you never iron a four-leaf clover? Because you shouldn't press your luck."
"What does the hipster serial killer do? Has sex with the bodies before they're cool."
"What did the bartender say to the alien? ""You're drunk ET, go home!"""
"Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die."
"A recent worldwide survey showed... A recent worldwide survey showed that out of 7,146,703,436 people, 94% were too lazy to actually read that number."
"Why do cars slow down when they see a cop has pulled someone over? HE'S A LITTLE BUSY TO WORRY ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW DUMMIES"
"*forgets to talk to friends for 4 weeks*"
"Why did the young witch have such difficulty writing letters? She had never learned to spell properly."
"At the planetarium with my family. I think my wife was surprised to discover she's not the center of the universe."