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Joke of the Day

"Government Shutdown: Day 4 3am: Monkey House, National Zoo A door crashes open. A triumphant screech. Ben Stiller escapes into the night."

"just remember before you let yourself get riled up over The Grammys.. Who Let The Dogs Out won a grammy"

"What does the Army call it's Muslim infantry units with vehicles? Mecca-nized infantry."

"What do you call a man who loses pounds for a living? A bad gambler"

"What did one the left headphone say to the right headphone as they walked through a haunted house? This place feels earie."

"Today some boiled water died.. It shall be mist"

"Apparently, ""I just assumed"" is a horrible answer when your wife asks you why you bought her the ""heavy flow"" tampons."

"What do you call clothes for a car? A tire."

"Why was the surfer such a bad cook? All he could handle was the microwave"

"How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? She fits into your wife's clothes."