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Joke of the Day

"""Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital..."" ""Peter, you've reposted that joke for over 8 years now, please stop flooding the subreddit with that."""

"Why did Rose not buy the iPhone 7 Cause it didn't have a Jack"

"A lot of my friends struggle hard with drug addiction and alcoholism but they both came real easy for me."

"Who did the baker bring to work? His doughter."

"The longest relationship I've had is with my first vibrator. We were together 7 years. Off and on."

"Two greek anarchists are sitting together making molotov cocktails. One says ""so, who are we going to throw these at?"" the other replies: ""what are you, a fucking intellectual?"""

"And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life.. .. but John came fifth and won a toaster"

"What's the cheapest type of meat? Deer balls. They're under a buck."

"Why do lesbians have belly buttons? To hold the tartar sauce."

"Apparently, ""Dude, that's the best she's EVER going to look"" was not the type of objection to the marriage the priest was asking about."