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Joke of the Day

"Everyone is talking about how good this Mayweather is. I couldn't agree more; it's 75 and not a cloud in the sky."

"I don't always tell Dad jokes, but when I do, he tells me to get my fucking life together and stop being a disappointment."

"Did you hear that actress got stabbed? That Reese, uhhh, whats her name? Reese ....... ""WITHERSPOON?"" Nah she got stabbed with a knife."

"I found my wheelie bin in the middle of the street this morning. If I hadn't brought it back in, it could have wheelie bin dangerous."

"We shouldn't be donating money to 'Doctors without Borders' We should donate borders instead"

"People who say 45 minutes past the hour are the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 months old"

"I was told a good joke at a New Year party... Hillary Clinton"

"What do you call a book club that's been stuck on the same book for thousands of years? Church."

"What do you call a frog that's parked illegally? Toad."

"My dog is so passive-aggressive. She let me sleep in late this morning, but then counter-surfed and stole my breakfast."