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Joke of the Day

"Finally decided on my thesis paper. It's a LOTR themed essay in defense of Sauron Titled ""Getting away with Mordor"""

"Two IT guys are having a chat during a coffee break and one of them sais to the other: Could you borrow me $500? Of course. But let's round it up. Here's $512."

"Do you know what happened to my tooth in the dentist's office? [Filled]"

"How many internet users does it take to change a light-bulb? I dunno. Let's just sign a petition so that hopefully somebody will do it."

"""Hunnnnhgh! Oh Jesus God! Aarrgh! - Carl Faberge, laying one of his famous eggs"

"What do calenders eat? Nothing. Calenders are inanimate objects that are used to keep track of the date and important events."

"Me: What kind of tools do I need to make a cake? Him: The fact that you're calling ingredients tools means u shouldnt be in charge of this."

"I walked outside my house wearing my Saran Wrap suit, my neighbor said ""I always knew you were crazy, but now I can clearly see your nuts!"""

"Why did the Dairy Queen get pregnant? The Burger King forgot to cover his whopper"

"What did one Mexican say to the other Mexican? It's four-twenty Juan!"