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Joke of the Day

"I like to shave in front of my car's side view mirrors every morning. that way, I can get a closer shave than it appears."

Next Joke
 
"I knew I was in trouble when the lady doing my nails shouted ""WHO DO YOUR EYEBROW?!"""
"My dad always warned me about anal. He said ""Son, this is going to hurt."""
"""I'm done with this shit."" He thought as he closed Reddit, locked his phone and stood up."
"Superman is depressed because he has to change in dirty gas station bathrooms since the telephone booth is now extinct. Poor Superman."
"I hate Japanese books. They always ruin the ending."
"[Jesus entering surf contest] Judge: What type of board will you be riding? Jesus: [looks at feet] They're using boards?"
"Women dream of world peace a safe environment and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in a lift with the Spice girls."
"Which chord do pedophiles like the most? A minor"
"What do you call a drunk dinosaur? A Staggersaurus."