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Joke of the Day

"When ur butt's wet It's called buttsweat"

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"Why did so many jews die at Auschwitz? Because the exit doors were coin operated."
"What do you call the fear of chainsaws? Common Sense. I'll show myself out..."
"You know what I hate? People that start their statements with rhetorical questions."
"[doctors] ""How long have I got?"" ""Not long. Two, three months"" [casually places apple on desk] ""Ok, ok, six. Just get that out of here!"""
"If you're cold, stand in the corner It's usually 90 degrees"
"Noticed lots of older people reading the bible. It's like they are cramming for their final exam."
"Her: Wasn't it fun cutting down our own Christmas tree? Me: Yea, especially when that guy chased us out of his yard..."
"Why does government matter? It doesn't."
"Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because D-shells are too big and B-shells are too small."