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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard about the Oscar Pistorius drinking game? Every time somebody goes in a bathroom and locks the door, you take four shots."

"I just plugged the charger into my phone, in the correct hole, on the first try. So it IS possible, guys. IT. IS. POSSIBLE."

"If I stop my car so you can walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you! Knees to chest damnit! KNEES TO CHEST"

"Ironically I'm watching an exercise infomercial because I'm too lazy to get the remote."

"Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer? Because the grass tickles their balls."

"I was kicked out of the gym for arguing with my step aerobics instructor, but I don't care. She's not my real aerobics instructor."

"On the news tonight they said a skull-fucker was on the loose... everyone should keep an eye out for him."

"How can I ever be happy... If I was born crying?"

"Large Group of Lions Seen Mating on the Banks of the Zambesi River Upstream of the Victoria Falls Pride cums before a fall."

"What did the perverted frog say? Rub-it!"