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Joke of the Day

"Me: I invited Todd over for dinner. Wife: Uncle Todd or Todd who takes things literally? *Todd exits out the back door with our television*"

"What did the Mod say to OP? [deleted]"

"What's the difference between my basement and a Ferrari? One is filled with hookers, and the other is my basement!"

"What do you call a very forgiving lawyer? S'aul Good man."

"Good cop: where's the body? Bad cop: answer him! *pounds table* Jenga cop: God damn it!"

"What do you call a Steer playing with itself? Beef Stroganoff"

"I offered a blonde a penny for her thoughts.... she gave me change!"

"My girlfriend told me to choose between our relationship and my career as a reporter. Well, I've got some news for her."

"Did you hear about the knife-wielding madman who attacked a circus camp the other day? He went straight for the juggler."

"If you've seen one shopping center... you've seen the mall."