174684

Joke of the Day

"Me: I invited Todd over for dinner. Wife: Uncle Todd or Todd who takes things literally? *Todd exits out the back door with our television*"

"How do you stay hidden in the Desert? Camal-Flage"

"I tried to teach a class on how hard it is to make a Fibonacci Sequence. But it spiraled WAY out of control!"

"Me: I'm sorry Aquaman, but talking to fish just isn't a super power. Aquaman: oh yeah? *squints* a dolphin scoots to my car and shits on it"

"The jury found me guilty. I asked the judge what the punishment would be, and he said: ""Well..."" Suspended sentence"

"Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? Because he only comes once a year. ( )"

"Laser joke A blue laser hertz twice as much as a red laser."

"[At job interview] Interviewer: Do you have a police record? Me: No. But I do have a few of their albums on cassette *hires me instantly"

"I once borrowed a pro-life campaigner's laptop. The desktop was filled with accidentally-created New Folder icons."

"What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I don't pay a garbanzo bean $100 to go on my face."