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Joke of the Day

"I got kicked out of the library today I got kicked out of the library for putting the women's rights book in the fiction section"

"White people colonized 34 of the world looking for spices and they still can't season their food right."

"What do you call a pirate from Ireland?? Arrrish"

"Star Wars Episode 7-9 Titles Revealed Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Sleeps For Five More Minutes Star Wars Episode IX: The Force Is Late For Work"

"What do you call little kids in Belgium? Brusselsprouts"

"My friend asked me if I ever missed the idea of being in the womb. I said ""The only thing I'd miss was my umbilical cord....."" I was very attached to it."

"Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere."

"A neutron walks into a bar... and inquires how much a drink costs. The bartender replies, ""For you? No charge."""

"Did you hear about the homemade poison ivy remedy? You can make it from scratch."

"I can tell how productive I was at work by how much battery my cell phone has left when I leave."