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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me peeing after sex prevents pregnancies... I don't know what I did wrong. I peed as hard as I could right after sex and she still got pregnant."

"Replace someone's MRI with a dancing skeleton gif once, and you'll never be asked to deliver bad news again."

"4-yr-old saw picture of me pregnant. I explain that she was inside me. She thought for a bit then said: ""I never want to do that again."""

"hey @BestBuy a worker here has a hole cut out of his polo for his nipple ring to show through. he says ""it's new and needs to breathe"""

"Why did the girl fall off the swing? coz she has no arms."

"I have a button on my microwave that says stop time. I assume its for the timer but I don't touch it just in case."

"What can save Russian Bear Snow den."

"What time do you go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty."

"""Keith Moon was Nuts"" Another insightful nugget of trivia from Opie. Oh you means the rock drummer that put fish and explosives in his drums was ""nuts""?"

"Why do pedophiles have social anxiety? Because they have a hard time fitting in"