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Joke of the Day

"I have a button on my microwave that says stop time. I assume its for the timer but I don't touch it just in case."

Next Joke
 
"I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free."
"*friend bites off beer bottle cap at party* HONEY! HONEY!! NOW!! NOW!!! *wife jumps out car with a hundred jars from the fridge*"
"If I had all the money in the world to do whatever I wanted I'd be the next US president"
"what did the breakfast burrito say after an all-nighter? ""I'm egg-sausaged"""
"How many crackheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one more."
"mother told me this What do you call 5 mexicans, and asian, and 5 black people in your front yard?? Water sprinkler.... spic-spic-spic-spic-spic---CHINK---nigga-nigga-nigga-nigga-nigga"
"Debt collector are so persistent they never leave you a loan"
"Something touched my leg while in the ocean and apparently I can walk on water now"
"What does a monster mom say to her kids at dinnertime? Don't talk with someone in your mouth."