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Joke of the Day

"What is worse, ignorance or apathy? I don't know, and i don't care.."

"""I have found our arguments quite useful - almost as useful as those I had with my father."" - Spock and the guy I end up marrying."

"Do you know what you get when you mix an elephant with a rhino? **Elephino**!"

"Wait...you said JAZZ hands? Oh god. I totally misheard you. Please get me a towel."

"The adult life I imagined as a child involved less laundry and more group dance numbers."

"Being a DJ is tough because sometimes iTunes won't open."

"Why did the bee go to the doctor? Because he had hives Badum tsh"

"Death Joke ""My grandfather knew the exact time of the exact day of the exact year that he would die."" ""Wow, what an evolved soul! How did it come to him?"" ""The judge told him."""

"My grandma married 2 men named Grover. I think she just had a thing for the name Grover, because she also married 2 women named Grover"

"Justice Scalia stated that he wants to be cremated after his death Millions of women are meeting now to discuss if that's what is best for his body."