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Joke of the Day

"What did 50 cent say to his grandma when he saw her knitting? ""Gee U Knit!"""

"You shouldn't joke fat people. They have enough on their plate as it is."

"I wanted to gift my brother a drum set... ...but I decided to keep it for myself. **badum tss**"

"What do you call a gay Irish couple? Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick."

"I don't normally cook. How much vodka do you add to the mashed potatoes?"

"How many redditors does it take to answer an /r/askscience question? [deleted]"

"Pretty weird to think that in the future, there will be old people named 'Hailey' and 'Brayden' running around in vintage Twilight t-shirts."

"What happens when a dick meets a hardass? Well... Fuck."

"How are a pizza maker and a gynecologist the same? They can both smell it, but they can't taste it."

"i wish everything was made out of pizza i'd be like hey bro sorry I ate your pizza car and pizza house and pizza wife."