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Joke of the Day

"Everything England has accomplished has been bettered by other nations - rugby, cricket and now at football... Even the Russians have better hooligans than us."

"I just learned Avicii is a singer and not Roman numerals for 1952."

"Run over by a Limo My mate got run over this morning by a limousine, it took fucking ages..."

"A masochist asks a sadist ""Please hurt me."" ""No,"" replies the sadist."

"A joke What do you go a place where cows go eat lunch ? A Calvefateria"

"How do you catch a polar bear? Cut a hole in the ice & dump in a can of peas. When the bear comes to take a pea, ya kick him in the ice-hole."

"the times they are indeed a changin..but the one time thatll never change is Lunch time. lock them engagements in if you think this is good."

"Did you hear about the man who had his entire left side removed? You could say he is all right now"

"I love strapping my kids into their car seats. It's the closest I can legally come to putting them in straitjackets."

"I called German UPS to ask them when they would ship my Rift.. They said, ""VR ready."""