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Joke of the Day

"How do you catch a polar bear? Cut a hole in the ice & dump in a can of peas. When the bear comes to take a pea, ya kick him in the ice-hole."

"What do you say to a soldier who doesn't turn up for Camouflage training? Well done."

"What do u call a soda that has eyes A fanta see. It never happens"

"How much money does the Government pay people with autistic disorder? Enough to buy a computer that can play League of Legends."

"What's at the centre of No Man's Sky universe? A refund. credit to /u/xROSSTHEHOSSx (saw it on another post as comment, thought it deserved own post)"

"What did the tooth say to the departing dentist?...Fill me in when you get back"

"The Walking Dead Season Finale Check back in six months for the punchline."

"The waiter asked if I wanted any salt for my steak... I told him to pepper my angus ;)"

"Absolutely is my favourite nothing to do..."

"I tried publishing my novel... in which I stress the danger of global warming by describing my experience battling encroaching fire ant colonies. Every publisher called it ant-I-climatic."