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Joke of the Day

"Hey Obama, how about, ""Everyone Has to Look Like Their Profile Picture in Person"" for a campaign slogan?"

"I see you when you follow. I know when you get blocked. I look at all your @ replies and hack your DM box. Stalker Claus is coming to town."

"Just popped in to say I'm considering switching to Depends. I'm not having a problem, but new underpants everyday!"

"I like my pizza like I like my women Absolutely no pubic hair."

"I used to be a cross dressing fireman... ...I kept getting a ladder in my tights."

"I love playing catch with my dogs when I'm drunk, because I don't have dogs when I'm sober."

"I was going to tell the joke about the scarecrow... but I think it has already been posted."

" Metric dollar."

"Apple is hiring McDonald's employees.... .....Do you want a Dongle with that?"

"""Dad, how do you feel about abortions?"" ""Ask your sister!"" ""I don't have a si- Oh."""