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Joke of the Day
"I was going to tell the joke about the scarecrow... but I think it has already been posted."
Next Joke
"Sometimes you have to Photoshop your life Sometimes you have to #Photoshop your life .. Touch up edges Adjust the tones Blur the background n Crop some people out :D"
"I was wondering why the football was getting bigger... Then it hit me."
"What's a pirate's favorite letter? (Most people respond, ""Arrr!"") That's what I thought too, but it turns out their hearts belong to the 'C'."
"Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?"
"SQUIRREL! SQUIRREL! CAT! SQUIRREL! SQUIRREL! MAILMAN! SQUIRREL! ~ Dog Acing Rorschach Test"
"I'm starting to think that the gym isn't really for me. I went this morning and laid down on the mat to do some sit-ups. I woke up 2 hours later."
"Japenese inmates on death row aren't given their date of death by the prison staff. I guess they just want to leave them hanging."
"What did the lawyer say when he stepped in dog shit? Help me..... I'm melting"
"Fun fact: At the end of Titanic, when all the people are dying in the water, you can hear a faint, ""Marco"" and then an even fainter, ""Polo."""