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Joke of the Day

"Apple is hiring McDonald's employees.... .....Do you want a Dongle with that?"

"Coining a new term. I hereby decree that from henceforth all comparisons made between two things for comedy shall be known as... ***a yuxtoposition.***"

"I dont want to make a joke but I really want to hear the most cancerous joke you know. If I get 100 of them I will show them all to my friend who hates cancerous jokes."

"Why does a chicken coop have two doors? If it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan !"

"If you listened to your heart please speak to a doctor cause it's isn't normal for a piece of meat to be speaking to you"

"[having sex] Her: HARDER! ME: Divide 110 into two parts so that one will be 150% of the other. What are the 2 numbers? Her: 44&66 HARDER!"

"How much does the average gay man ejaculate? I don't know but I hear it's an assload."

"The comeback, 'Get on my level' 'Get on my level' Reply: 'Okay dude, ill go downwards'"

"My wife is always trying to pick a fight by making fun of my impotence. Well she won't get a rise out of me."

"You may say the glass is half full or half empty. I say fill the rest of my damn cup!"