186464

Joke of the Day

"How bacteria stay in contact while they're in jail? They exchange cell numbers."

"Boss set out a bowl of hard candy in the break room, so I guess we had our Christmas party today."

"Living in Switzerland sucks but the flag is a big plus."

"Boy 1: ""How did you get that bruise on your arm?"" Boy 2: ""I ate some Easter candy."" Boy 1: ""Eating Easter candy won't give you a bruise."" Boy 2: ""It will if it's your big brother's candy!"""

"Why did it take so long for the postie to deliver the missing jigsaw piece? He had a bit of a puzzle in his hands"

"I've made too many withdrawals from the spank bank... They tell me my count is getting low."

"My pants are so tight I'm legitimately afraid they won't fit if I miss a day of shaving my legs."

"I made fun of a guy for still having a Nokia phone. He threw it at me and knocked me unconscious."

"Of course Tom Brady got twice the suspension Ray Rice did. Ray Rice only beat his wife, Tom Brady beats everybody."

"Sunburn: Getting what you basked for."