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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fake noodle?... An Impasta!"

"Maybe if wommen's uteroids weren't such powerful mystery-swamps, the GOP wouldn't have to police them with #light & #K9 units."

"This week a team at NASA announced a mission to land a probe on the sun To avoid the extreme heat of the sun, they explained, the probe will land at night."

"If a pizza has a radius ""z"" and a depth ""a"" Its volume can be defined by pi* z* z* a"

"What's the difference between mono and herpes? You get mono from snatching a kiss........"

"What do you call a set of chairs kept outside in Ireland? Paddy O' Furniture"

"Did you guys hear about that Egyptian con-artist? Turns out he was running a pyramid scheme all along."

"My friend told me Alan Rickman had passed away. I said ""You're joking?"".... ...She replied ""Nope. Dead Sirius."""

"""Come as you are. As you were. As I want you to be."" ~ Kurt Cobain, confusing party coordinator"

"At my funeral I want a magician to saw my coffin in half or I'm not going."