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Joke of the Day

"I'm on a plane and I see my friend Jack. Instinctively I say, ""Hi Jack!"" Still don't understand why I was detained."

"How are kids like piano keys? All the black ones are accidentals."

"How do you know a woman is wearing tights? - Her knees swell up when she farts."

"saw a chameleon today So it's safe to say it was a pretty shit chameleon"

"A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink Bartender says, ""No charge"""

"An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar... They try to have a nice evening, but are forced to leave since everyone is aggressively telling them that they are wrong."

"Don't discriminate, hate everyone equally."

"A guy at work lost his thumb and had to replace it with his big toe. (True Story) Now we ask to get ""your foot off the table"" when he's eating."

"What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge."

"I am not a parody account. I am The Lord thy God, King of the Universe, and I am communicating by Twitter because My fax is broken."