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Joke of the Day

"How do you confuse an idiot? 44"

"*interrupts your class* Girl sorry to embarrass you, but I wrote this for you *whips out guitar, fucks up intro* wait. *tries again* wait."

"Riddle me this, Batman. What do you find in an alley that has holes in it? ""M-my parents?"" ""No! A bowling ball! I'm so sorry..."""

"Doctor will I be able to play piano after the procedure? Doctor: Yes, I don't see why not. Patient: That's wonderful I could never play piano before!"

"What food is bad for epileptic people? Seizure salad"

"I just came up with the BEST joke for Trump Trump is like gold. Incredibly dense, but somehow worth something."

"If I had a dime for every time I quoted the movie Blazing Saddles... I would have a shitload of dimes."

"[Commercial] *Camera focuses on a man choking on a whole apple* Narrator: ""If only there was a better way?"" [On Screen Caption] TEETH"

"I don't drink about you anymore."

"Why is Russian the most dangerous language to learn? Because it's Russki."