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Joke of the Day

"How is Hillary Clinton and a high class prostitute different? Rich people pay the prostitute to fuck them, they pay Hillary Clinton to fuck everyone else."

"Girlfriend: Ok you hang up :-) Boyfriend: No You hang up first :-) Girlfriend: no you first Boyfriend: No you first NSA: both of you hang up"

"Why are hurricanes named after women? Because they arrive wet and wild then leave with your house and car"

"How was Jackie Gleason put into his casket? Crammed in."

"My cell phone fell in the pool...now I know what it feels like to have someone you love drown."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Impossible. Feminists can't change anything."

"What happens on Santa's lap.......stays on Santa's lap."

"I was casually playing while my teammate wrote ""I fucked your mom last night"" I replied ""no you didn't"" Then my dad ran into my room and told me that he indeed did."

"What's the worst part about getting raped by an eskimo? Being forced Inuit."

"My girlfriend had a sexual fantasy to roleplay as a 14 year old in bed. I think it's pretty gross. Besides, she'll be 14 in 2 years anyway."