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Joke of the Day

"What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? I don't know. He still hasn't opened his gifts."

"Did you hear about the priest that had a Nicotine patch on his dick? (NSFW) He's cut back to two butts a week"

"I feel like we're so close to finding the perfect zinger that will make the whole country immediately unite."

"Joseph Smith sold so many copies of the Book of Mormon That they made him a prophet."

"Boss: You're late! You shoulda been here two hours ago! Me: Why? What happened two hours ago?"

"Enjoying Life There are few things I enjoy more than picking an argument with my wife when she has the hiccups. I wish I could wake up in the morning and be as excited about it as my penis."

"What do you say when Al Gore writes computer code? He's writing an Algorithm!"

"I like my women like i like my coffee... Silent."

"What is a heroin addict's favorite website? Instagram."

"I wish my cocaine was emo so it would cut itself."