173910

Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend just broke up with me... ...it's all cool though, she said we could still remain cousins."

"Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to burst into tears as his grandmothers Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer recognize him."

"Cashier: ""Look at all this candy! You're going to have a lot of happy kids this Halloween"" Me: ""It's Halloween?"""

"Did you hear about the Jewish man who loves tea? Hebrews regularly."

"How come when my kid wants to show me something, she has to place it directly inside my cornea?"

"What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick."

"Apple said they are building a new car. Apple said they are building a new car but they are having trouble installing windows."

"So I was walking down the street, when suddenly it hit me... I guess I was too deep in thought to notice that bus coming."

"""Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all the scabs that were on your arms?"" ""Shut up and eat your cornflakes."""

"Why did the train go left? Cause it couldn't get on the right track. I made that joke when I was little and remembered it today, might as well post it."