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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW]Why the Higgs boson is so respected by other particles? He decides who gets some ass."

"Cheezus take the wheel! *bud um sch*"

"I see your limerick... There once was a man from Wheeling Who pounded his pud with great feeling And then like a trout He'd stick his mouth out And wait for the drops from the ceiling"

"In regards to the Noah movie: Make sure you take someone with you, I heard they're only selling tickets in pairs."

"I may not have as many Oscars as Leo anymore but... I've still got as many Tour De France wins as Lance Armstrong."

"Why did Mary Magdalen love Jesus? *Spreads arms* Because he was hung like this"

"CRUEL JOKE What did the blind, deaf, mute quadraplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer."

"Don't worry guys, my wife just turned the car radio down so we shouldn't be lost much longer."

"With American Airlines stock at 20 cents, I can't decide between paying for two checked bags or buying half the company."

"I saw a funny post on 9GAG but then I realized I had already Reddit."