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Joke of the Day

"You know how to do gypsy triathlon? You walk to the pool, don't swim, and then ride home on a brand new bike."

"Q. What's the difference between a line dance instructor and a dentist? A. A dentist lets you sit down while he hurts you."

"How many men does it take to open a can of beer? None. She should have opened it as she brought it to you."

"I made a commitment not to masturbate for the past four weeks... I didn't pull it off"

"Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work. The dog probably just thinks, Awesome, now we're both barking"

"How do you start an insect race ? One two flea - go"

"How do you get a fat lady in a car? Piece of cake."

"Some old people are driving vehicles right now and don't even know it."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I live across the street from a KFC."

"What does a waffle call his complete existential paradigm shift? His eggo death"