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Joke of the Day
"My girlfriend said she needed time and distance... So I slapped her with velocity."
Next Joke
"Finding out how big of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan I truly am was understandably pretty tough for my daughters, Raphael & Leonardo."
"Did you know humans are born with four kidneys? Two of them grow into adult knees."
"What is the last thing the host of an orgy says to his guests? Thank you for coming!"
"Where is the lost city of Atlantis? Lantis. I can't believe nobody has thought to look there yet."
"I hate the alphabet so much... I'm thinking about burning an F or G."
"Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton survive a capsized boat. Who drowns? The boat."
"So a woman's eye fell out of her socket and landed in the middle of her breast. ""BOOBS-eye!"" she said."
"Chris Brown is Selling his pitbulls. he doesn't want to live with something that can fight back."
"Today a feminist asked me how I view lesbians. Apparently ""in HD"" wasn't the right answer."