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Joke of the Day

"Today a feminist asked me how I view lesbians. Apparently ""in HD"" wasn't the right answer."

"What does a clam do on his birthday? He shellabrates!"

"I'm only drinking two beers. Because I have self control and two beers"

"Elderly woman ahead of me at Subway is paying for her lunch with nickels and now I don't even give a shit about health care reform."

"What is the scariest part of a cavity search? When they put both their hands on your shoulders but keep searching"

"Why did the UK's BBFC ban facesitting? They're big fans of teabagging."

"Whats the difference between an apple and a dead baby I dont come on my apple before I eat it"

"Why do Native Americans like being invited to Thanksgiving dinners? Because usually they're stuck with reservations."

"Where does Jon Bon Jovi reside? --- HE'S LIVING ON A PRAIRIE"

"If the Mexicans are taking all of the jobs, then why do Koreans still rule the nail salons? Because Tu is better than Juan."