173162

Joke of the Day

"I entered a contest to win a car, but ended up winning a phone It was Nokia, but it was still a great prize."

"Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side ripped off by a shark? He's all right now."

"To all my friends who sent me best wishes for 2013, it did fuck all. For 2014 could you please send money, alcohol or petrol vouchers...Cheers!"

"What is every young lady`s ultimate Disney fantasy? To sit on Pinnochio`s face and hope he tells lies."

"Two black men are in a car. Who's driving? The policeman."

"And on the 8th day, God almost created Lionel Richie but was all like ""Naw, I'll just hold off a few thousand years then one day HELLO!"""

"What do you call a pig that took a plane? Swine flu!"

"Today is full of possibilities and I have a strong feeling none of them are mine."

"Life is like a box of chocolates It doesn't last as long if you're fat."

"What do you call cheese that's not yours ? Nacho cheese"