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Joke of the Day

"To all my friends who sent me best wishes for 2013, it did fuck all. For 2014 could you please send money, alcohol or petrol vouchers...Cheers!"

"They won't admit the Egypt flight crashed... ...because they're all in *da nile.*"

"On your first day in the hospital kick the ass of the sickest motherfucker in there"

"Dr: If you want to lose weight, you need to do things that'll make you sweat. Me: *applies for a loan*"

"So a Priest says to a Rabbi.... ""Hey, we should go fuck those kids..."" and the Rabbi says: ""Outta what?"""

"You really have to hand it to blind prostitutes."

"Started a game of hide and seek with my dad 20 years ago haha he's the best where are you man"

"Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking in a house fire."

"What's the difference between a black man and a bike? The bike doesn't start singing when you put a chain on it."

"Farts are ghosts of things we eat!"