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Joke of the Day

"And on the 8th day, God almost created Lionel Richie but was all like ""Naw, I'll just hold off a few thousand years then one day HELLO!"""

"Why didn't the blond want to use her phone while using the bathroom? She was afraid someone would steal her IP address."

"How do you call a USB stick in Russia? A put-in"

"Chuck Norris walked in a chinese restaurant and asked for Chicken Parmesan with Bruschetta bread...and got it."

"After sex last night... ...my new girlfriend snuggled up next to me and said, ""You know, you are by far the biggest I've ever had"". Apparently ""Ditto"" is not the right response."

"Why does everybody like South Korea more than North Korea? Because North Korea has no Seoul."

"My dick is like a polygraph... It's only reliable fifty percent of the time"

"My wife told me I was immature and needed to grow up. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house anymore."

"Did you hear about the emo windows? They were double-pained :,("

"A college in Boston is offering a major in comedy... One student commented, ""I think I have a future in this. Every time I tell someone what I'm studying, they laugh."""