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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear Jurassic World got shut down? Apparently they found a crisp rat in the kitchen!"

"Some girl is stalking me & has been telling ppl I'm her boyfriend. I'm flattered but I prefer to be the psychotic one in the relationship"

"SCIENTISTS HAVE FINALLY DISCOVERED THE CURE TO PREMATURE EJACULATION It's not out yet buy it's coming quickly !!"

"""I'd like a bowl of soup please."" ""Any sides?"" ""I hope so, or it'll go EVERYWHERE."""

"I had a call from a charity asking me to donate old clothes for starving people. I told them anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving"

"What was Justin Timberlake called when he was a kid? Justin Timberpuddle!"

"If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go to the hospital because that sounds serious."

"Why has the ex-NSA contractor not left his house? He's snowed in."

"Marriage is like a deck of cards In the beginning all you need is 2 hearts and a diamond... By the end you wish you had a club and a spade."

"A man calls in to work sick on a Friday His boss asks him, ""Why what's wrong with you?"" He replies, ""its my eyes boss... I just can't see my ass coming in to work today."""