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Joke of the Day

"I introduced my girlfriend to the family Me: hello everyone, meet Jasmine Jasmine: Hi Wife: what the fuck"

Next Joke
 
"Did you hear about the guy who invented knock-knock jokes? He won the nobel prize"
"What's the latest big thing to sweep across Japan? The ocean."
"How do you know your man is cheating? When he drives by her place the wifi connects"
"What do you call a couple of ones and zeros orbiting around each other? Binary stars."
"why was the mother buying christmas gifts for her son in august? because presents are less expensive than chemo.."
"What's a hillbillies favorite holiday? Halloween.... Do you want to know why? Because they like to pump kin."
"My favorite part of a date is the sweet, seedy flesh. Wait, sorry, that's my favorite part of a fig, I always get figs and dates mixed up."
"*waits until a bird falls asleep, quietly creeps beside it's nest* HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO ARE YOU AWAKE!?!! HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS!?!"
"Good news, you survived the horrific car crash. Sadly we couldn't find the other guy's arms but we managed to reattach all four of yours"
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