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Joke of the Day

"TIL a man went in to have his right leg amputated but somehow they removed his left. After the mistake was corrected, he then sued but lost Judge said he didn't have a leg to stand on"

"Yoy can't write an essay overnight You can't write an essay overnight but you have to in 30 minutes for a test."

"I'm sure there'll be some making distasteful jokes about Williams' death. How annoying for them that he would have thought of funnier ones."

"What do you call an eternity? Four Blondes at a four way stop."

"I've got some good news and some bad news... You've won a free trip to Cairo!"

"STUDENT: what's it like being drunk? TEACHER: see those 6 desks? A drunk person would see 12. STUDENT: there are only 3 desks."

"What happens when a Chinese man with a boner runs into a wall? He breaks his nose."

"How to sports: - Take a ball - Put it someplace someone else doesn't want you to put it - Congratulations you've now sportsed"

"What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year the dog is still excited to see you."

"By reading this tweet, you have earned a masters in communication from Stephen Colbert ""University."" Standard text messaging rates apply."